Thursday, September 26, 2013

No one should have to feel this way

This video leaves me heartbroken and sad. Also very very angry.

It hurts my insides to listen to this lady's story.  No one, and I do mean no one, should ever have to feel the way she felt. Not ever, not under any circumstances.  But it does.  All the fucking time! I don't have the words for how sad that makes me.

But mostly I am angry.  I am angry that we live in a world where this happens all the time.  I'm angry that society is apparently pretty OK with this being the case.  I'm angry at myself for the time spent as part of that culture.

This is why Modesty culture and Purity culture pisses me the fuck off.  I cannot just live and let live, those things are not harmless.  How do I hate it? Let me count the ways!  I hate the way it divides people into good and bad based purely on whether they've had sex or not.  I hate the way it makes you ashamed of your body and your hormones and everything that is completely natural about sex.  I hate the way it always finds ways to side against the abused and with the abuser.  I hate the shame spirals and the psychological trauma of calling good, harmless and natural things sinful.  I hate that it teaches men to hate and fear the female body.  I hate that it turns women into things, not people.  I hate how it degrades men and teaches them that deep down they are uncontrollable sex monsters.  But more than anything I hate how it teaches us that we are supposed to be like his. 

This is the one thing that (as a guy) makes me insanely angry about purity and modesty teachings in the church.  It tells guys that they are animals.  That they are slaves to their every urge, that they simply cannot help themselves.  Men are not in control of their behavior, it all gets outsources externally.  Girls have to cover up because guys just cannot help themselves when they are aroused.

That's fucking bullshit.  There's no nice way to say it.

1 comment:

GumbyTheCat said...

Alybongo tells a gut-wrenching story here, no doubt. I feel for her and understand her point of view. Personally I never understood this 'catcalling' thing, and can understand why she felt so threatened.

Issues exactly like this are a huge topic of discussion in the online atheist community right now. Unfortunately, instead of productive discussion that actually educates and helps people, it's having a very negative impact on the community because a small but very loud contingent of social justice warrior uber-feminist types (both male and female) are desperately trying to infect the community with the absolutely insane notions like all men hate women and are either rapists or are just one tiny step away from being rapists, that a woman who has had even one tiny sip of alcohol and has sex is a rape victim because she supposedly can't give consent, that all women are helpless victims in any and all circumstances, etc. This does not further discussions, and it's not meant to. It's meant to hold the atheist community hostage and force an 'us vs. them' mentality. It does nothing to help the very real plight of women such as Alybongo. Rather, it infantilizes all women and demonizes all men.

The behavior of these 'social justice warriors' is appalling. They have devolved into a cultlike entity with all the trappings of religion, complete with doctrines, preaching shunning, and excommunication. Men are the new Satan, and misogyny is the new Original Sin. All men are afflicted, and the only cure is to unquestioningly accept the dogma of these extremists into your heart.

Reason and skepticism - long the foundations of atheism - are being tossed in favor of quasi-religious extremism in the name of "helping" women.

This shit ain't helping women, it's hurting them by casting them all as helpless mewling victims. And it sure doesn't help men when it lumps them all into the "rapist" category if they don't agree with everything the social justice warriors dictate they must agree with. Even women who agree in principle but take issue with the extremist tactics of these people are branded "gender traitors", "chill girls", and "sister punishers", and are effectively blacklisted out of the community. These people try to get their opponents fired from their jobs, and they routinely dig up and post the personal info - real names, addresses, phone numbers - on the internet for all to see. It's fucking disgusting and immoral.

In the meantime, real women with real problems, such as Alybongo, are ignored - the very people that these SJW's pretend to care about. As with traditional religion, the people running this cult-like SJW entity seem more concerned with furthering their own selves and their own agendas than actually doing something helpful and constructive. This tearing down of others in order to lift a few people up is destroying the online atheist community and it has to stop.

I've been heavily involved in this for the last two years (starting with "Elevatorgate"), and this schism is getting worse, not better. I'm fucking tired of being branded as inferior, a rapist, a rape apologist or a misogynist because I disagree with the extremist and divisive tactics of a few self-proclaimed "feminists" who do far more to hurt women than they ever do to help. They only people they ever seem to 'help' is themselves.

I could go on and on and on about this, but I'll shut up now. Just realize that if you ever read about this shit on the internet (and you probably have), not everyone is as bad as these foul SJW's say they are.