Why Evangelical Support for Donald Trump Makes Total Sense

The fact that Donald Trump became the presidential nominee of a major party is baffling to people all over the world but somehow even more baffling to Christian folk all over (US included) is his support amongst Evangelical Christians.  I mean here you have the literal incarnation of the bad guy in every one of Jesus' parables and he doesn't just have their support, he has their enthusiastic support!  While on the one hand he can't seem to stop doing wrong, to them he can do no wrong!  I think I can clear that up though.  To a lifelong student of White Western Evangelical Christianity this really shouldn't be all that baffling.  When you think about it, it makes utter and complete sense.

But that's only if anyone is still around to see 2024...

See, in Donald Trump Evangelicals have someone they can treat the way they've been treating God all their lives, so of course they're going to worship him.  Think about it, he says one thing and then later says the complete opposite.  As his followers they then insist that doesn't count and that what he really meant was because and also there's no contradiction here, all these alleged contradictions are just being exaggerated by his enemies who hate him and want to distract from all the good he's doing!  See? They can treat Trump the way they've been treating the Bible their whole lives.  In a way, they've been training for the Trump candidacy since Sunday School!

That's why it doesn't matter how many terrible things Trump says.  You can quote him all you like, you'll have more luck trying to convince Evangelicals to cancel the rib cookoff by quoting Leviticus.  

Or rather, you'll have exactly the same amount of luck.  For exactly the same reasons.