Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Intro to Voldemorting

How do you feel about Reality TV stars?  Just for the sake of clarity, when I say Reality TV stars, I'm not referring to the contestants of So You Think You Can Dance or American Idol.  No, I'm referring to that special breed of "star" who became famous for being a terrible person on TV, not because of any actual talent or useful ability.  You know the ones, the "famous for being famous" people.  They're not celebrities because they are smart or funny or in any way gifted, they're celebrities simply by virtue of being on TV, doing dumb shit and being gross.  How do you feel about those people?

If you're a big fan (and due to the baffling popularity of these shows, I have to assume that a lot of people are) then you may as well leave now.  This isn't addressed to you.  If you think they're awesome and you can't get enough of them close this page and go watch some more TV.  I know I won't be able to change your mind so I'm not even going to try.  Let's just agree to disagree.

If on the other hand you share my distaste of these revolting pseudo-celebrities then I would love to run something by you.  See if you're anything like me then you hate these people and everything they represent.  They're destroying good TV as more and more quality shows are cancelled and replaced with a litany of increasingly moronic "reality" shows.  More than that, they seem to be actively ruining society.  Kids don't want to grow up to become doctors or astronauts, they want to grow up to be famous.  Not famous for being a great author or musician, just famous.  Really, who can blame them, seeing as how fame and fortune can result from not wearing underwear in public or taking a drunken shit in public.  In all of human history, has there ever been a worse group of role models?  And make no mistake, these people are role models.  When teenage girls are getting knocked up so they can be on TV, something has gone horribly wrong.  "Reality TV star" shouldn't even be a thing and yet it's become a viable career for many - going from one show to the next, then the all stars reunion show followed by a televised trip to rehab and/or therapy followed by another starring role in their own personal spinoff show.

These people upset me to no end so I rarely miss the opportunity to point out how much I hate them and how much they suck and of course I lap up all the embarrassing news items about them I can find just for a good shot of schadenfreude.  However, this was a huge mistake on my part for it meant that I was actually part of the problem!

In a recent episode of the Dongtini podcast, Simone pointed out that if you're talking and reading about these "stars", you're actually aiding & abetting them.  She was completely right of course.

These bottom feeders are literal attention vampires.  They don't just crave attention, they NEED attention.  The incredible lengths they are willing to go to in order to get it makes it abundantly clear that they don't care if you're watching them out of love or hate - they only care that you're watching.  There is nothing so awful, so inhuman and so degrading that they will not do it for 5 extra seconds of airtime or one extra mention in the media.  So even if you're just watching it to make jokes at their expense, they're still getting exactly what they want.

Simone's idea is sheer genius in its simplicity.  Attention is their lifeblood.  By paying attention you're keeping them alive.  So stop it.  Stop it all.  Don't talk about them, don't mention them in any way.  Don't follow stories about them, don't forward any info about them, don't even click on a link connected to them in any way.  It's as simple as that.  I call this Voldemorting*.  Voldemorting is when you deprive someone terrible of power by refusing to speak their name.  Have you noticed that in this entire blog post I've never mentioned any of the reality stars by name?  That's me Voldemorting!

So if you dislike these people and their destructive influence on society, why not do something about it?  Complaining doesn't help, they want that!  The only thing they fear is your indifference so go ahead and heap it on them!  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  There are still plenty of otherwise talented celebs to make fun of if you need your schadenfreude fix, just don't let these bottomfeeders into your orbit.  If we all do it we will be rid of them for good and if only you do it then at least you won't have to hear about them.  So spread the word, what do you have to lose?

*My only contribution to this idea was the silly name.  If you don't like it, by all means call it something else but please still do the thing!

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