Monday, October 31, 2011

Spellcasting for Christians 101

Thanks to the new Facebook layout I get to see a lot more of what my friends and acquaintances are up to.  So then whenever I see someone commenting on or "liking" an person that actually uses "Prophet" or "Apostle" as a title, I'm compelled to check it out.  I have to say, it rarely disappoints!  For instance I was checking out the Facebook wall of "Prophet Kobus van Rensburg" and I noticed that while every one of his status updates is a Bible verse, there was this one exception:

"...Today I put on the power of heaven, The light of the sun, The radiance of the moon, The splendor of fire, The fierceness of lightning, The swiftness of wind
The depth of the sea, The firmness of the earth and The hardness of rock
Today I put on God’s strength to steer me, God’s power to uphold me
God’s wisdom to guide me, God’s eye for my vision, God’s ear for my hearing
God’s word for my speech, God’s hand to protect me, God’s pathway before me
God’s shield for my shelter, God’s angel to guard me, From ambush of devils
From vice’s allurements, From traps of the flesh, From all who wish ill
Whether distant or close, Alone or in hosts, Christ-beside me, Christ- before me
Christ-behind me, Christ-within me, Christ-beneath me, Christ-above me
Christ-on my right hand, Christ-on my left, Christ-when I lie, Christ-when I sit
Christ-when I rise, Christ-in every heart who think of me
Christ- in the mouth of all who speak of me, Christ-in every eye that sees me
Christ-in every ear that hears me, Christ-guard me today, From poison, from burning, From drowning, from hurt, That I have my reward, Today I put on a terrible strength, Invoking the Trinity, Confessing the Three, With faith in the One, As I face my Maker."

Clearly this was no Bible verse.  In fact this looked exactly like a magical incantation.  Turns out it is (sort of) and it's rather old.  It's known as Saint Patrick's Breastplate, a prayer and hymn attributed to the patron saint of Ireland.  (Prophet van Rensburg here actually used the short version, you can check out the full version at the wiki link)  According to the Wikipedia article on it, "It is written in the style of a druidic incantation for protection on a journey".  So yes, it looks like a magical incantation because it's based on one!

You know, Charismatic Christians may buy into Jack Chick's claims that Catholics all work for the antichrist, but they sure do act pretty much exactly like medieval Catholics!

Before I forget, Happy Halloween to all who celebrate it!  Feel free to use this bit of Jesus magic to keep yourself safe from all the ghosts and ghouls out there!


S.M. Elliott said...

Prophet hooey aside, why would anyone like a dude who just posts Bible verses?

Eugene said...

I know, right?! And yet, every verse has several comments from people who are just so very deeply touched by a verse they could have read from their own Bibles if they wanted to.

The other "prophets" are more fun though. Prophet Kim Clement for instance, writes much better updates like:
"I'm praying now. I would like to bring your requests before God. Send them to me GO"
"Watch the Den today. I will be sharing a vision I had of a future president of the USA. Special guests and Codebreakers too-3PM PDT - GO!"
"Breaking News Prophetic Alert Tonight - is God punishing America? Or is it His will to protect this nation? Don't miss tonight's broadcast - it's a MUST! 6 PM PDT - GO!"

Now that's more like it!

Eugene said...

According to Stuff Christian Culture Likes, posting Bible verses on Facebook and "liking" it when others do the same is all part of Christian Culture. The more you know!

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