Monday, April 25, 2011

Strange New Godview: Drunk Zeus

This weekend, Christians all over the world celebrated the fact that their God is someone who deeply loves a broken world.  This is a God who loved the world and came to earth not to destroy it but to rescue it.  The God we celebrate on Easter was never a fan of sin but instead of fighting it with violence and destruction He opposed it through self sacrifice and love.  Not all Christians celebrate the God of Easter though.  Some Christians worship His polar opposite.  Behold for instance, the self proclaimed prophet of the Lord, Cindy Jacobs:

Now I know I call this series "Strange New Godview" but in this case that is not entirely accurate.  Her Godview (along with that of Jerry Falwell and Pat Robinson to name but a few) is actually not that new.  It may in fact be the oldest of all Godviews.  Eons ago, whenever something unpleasant happened I'm sure you would find plenty of shamans, priests and witch doctors telling the people that this bad thing happened because the gods were upset.  Coincidentally the gods always managed to be upset about something that the local shaman/priest/witchdoctor was also unhappy with.  To stop the bad thing from happening again all the people had to do was agree that the shaman/priest/witchdoctor was totally right about everything and immediately stop doing that thing that the shaman/priest/witchdoctor (and also the gods of course) hated.

It seems not much has changed.  You wouldn't like Cindy Jacobs' God when He gets angry and FYI, He gets angry a lot!  When He gets peeved you better believe that He will unlock the woodshed and take off his whuppin belt, just like Zeus of old! Only there is a major difference here.  Zeus at least bothered to hurl his lightning bolts at the person who offended him.  Cindy's god is not only violent it seems, he also drinks heavily seeing as how he tends to just randomly smite people/things who had nothing to do with whatever offended him.  How else would you explain dead birds and an earthquake in Japan because he & Cindy was upset about DADT?  Perhaps he is just kinda racist and thinks we all look alike.  Would explain the Bible Belt tornadoes her god uses to punish Hollywood (or something), wouldn't it?


GumbyTheCat said...

Listening to the smug sanctimonious tone of that horrid woman's voice, and the meaning of the word-turds she utters, literally nauseates me.

How the hell can anyone believe this crap in this day and age? I'm not talking about believing in God, I'm talking about the godview, as you put it.

Religion can do terrible things to the mind, especially minds that are already weak in the first place.

It's gotta really suck to be enslaved to a nasty, temper tantrum-throwing god out of abject fear. So much for "Christianity isn't a religion, it's a relationship with Jesus Christ".

If God does exist, I think he would be far more offended by the fundie representation of him as a perpetually angry, mindlessly primitive retribution machine with horrible aim than he would be by the repeal of DADT. As a matter of fact, the Bible makes it pretty clear that Jesus would approve of the repeal of DADT. And I believe God would also be angry at the fundies for making him out to be such a beady-eyed bigot. Ah, the gods we create in our own images are so often not pretty at all.

If God were offended by something we humans did, he could signal his displeasure in far more clearly understood ways than by causing natural disasters that everyone but religious froot-loops will interpret as simply natural occurrences.

God disapproves of homosexuals, so he shatters Japan with an earthquake, and we're all supposed to figure out that this particular earthquake is because God's angry at (checks list) oh, ok, homosexuals this time. It was the last earthquake that was about abortions, that's right, I forgot.

*repeatedly slams head on desk*

Eugene said...

If openly gay soldiers started getting struck by lightning from clear skies I would definitely be open to the idea that God is displeased with them. Tsunami in Japan? Not quite as clear a sign, but that may just be me!!

Just for interest sake, here is the relevant passage she loves to quote:
"For the LORD has a case against the inhabitants of the land,
Because there is no faithfulness or kindness
Or knowledge of God in the land.
There is swearing, deception, murder, stealing and adultery.
They employ violence, so that bloodshed follows bloodshed.
Therefore the land mourns,
And everyone who lives in it languishes
Along with the beasts of the field and the birds of the sky,
And also the fish of the sea 1disappear."

Ho 4:1–3 (NASB)

Funny how homosexuality doesn't get a single mention! However based on the criteria that does get a mention, pretty much every country in the world should be getting hit with every natural disaster out there non stop - unless Cindy Jacobs doesn't know what the hell she's talking about of course!

Jeni said...

Okay, I now feel like poking myself in the eye with a sharp stick. People like her make it even harder for Christians who just want to love people, as we should. People like her are the reason that people who don't know Jesus dislike Christians out of principle. Not only is she spouting out hate, but she is doing it at the top of her lungs with a megaphone (not literally of course), all in the name of Jesus. Oh dear...

digapigmy said...

The connection between the scripture, the repeal of DADT, and an earthquake in Japan does seem to be a bit of a stretch. Not as obvious as Haiti being destroyed because they made a deal with the devil centuries ago. At least God hit the right country with that one.

Eugene said...

Yes, with Haiti it was a case of right place, wrong time. Oh well I'm sure that will teach the Haitians to have better ancestors in future!

digapigmy said...

Don't you mean better ancestors in the past? This is as confusing as Primer and Donnie Darko all rolled into one.

S.M. Elliott said...

Whenever a pro athlete credits Jesus or God with winning a game, I want to ask, "If you lose, does that mean God hates you?"

Eugene said...

@SM Elliot, no it rarely seems to work both ways for athletes with one notable exception - Steve Johnson of the Buffalo Bills who blamed God on Twitter for dropping a catch:

"“I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!!” the 24-year-old tweeted from his iPad at around 5:15 Sunday after the Steelers’ 19-16 overtime victory. “AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO…”"