Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Someone has some Godsplainin' to do!!

It seems that wherever you find disaster you find Godsplainers - people ready to explain to you exactly why God made this terrible thing happen.  No matter if it's a natural disaster like an earthquake or tsunami or a wholly man made one like a terrorist attack, the Godsplainers will tell you exactly which offense to the Almighty brought this about.  Like the prophets of old, these good men and women help us make link the invisible cause to the tragic effect, links we would normally not have percieved - like the link between gays and terrorist attacks and 200 year old voodoo ceremonies and earthquakes for instance.

It's a wee bit baffling then that a recent disaster in Ohio is so absent of Godsplainers.  Maybe no one is Godsplainin' this one because it's just a little too easy.  I mean someone builds a 19 meter styrofoam and fibreglass image of God - thereby offending not only the Commandments but also good taste - and it then burns down after it gets struck by lightning it should be a bit of a no brainer right?  Yet the good folks over Solid Rock Church seem completely baffled as to why their giant idol was burned to the ground.  Is this perhaps a case of being blinded by a flash of the obvious?

We need some Godspainers out there STAT!  They actually plan on rebuilding that monstrosity at the cost of $700 000 (it cost $250 000 to build originally).  That's US dollars by the way, not Zimbabwean dollars.  Is it just me or does that seem kinda excessive?  For once it would seem like having some Godsplainers around would actually benefit the needy!  On the other hand, who am I to judge?  I'm sure the widows, orphans and homeless of Monroe will all feel better once the town has its giant plastic Jesus back!

Full story here


GumbyTheCat said...

I live in Ohio, and this is just down the road from me - within 50 miles. It's ironically funny until one realizes just how many needy children could be helped with $700,000. It makes my blood boil.

I've been dealing with the increasingly vocal members of the Harold Camping rapture cult lately. I say "increasingly vocal" because as Harold's latest "can't miss" Rapture date (May 21, 2011) approaches, the more these dazed, mumbling brainwashed idiots crawl out of the woodwork to spread their master's unbiblical message. Creepy beyond belief, and they are indeed cult members. Their specialty is making the Bible say anything they want it to say by treating EVERYTHING in the Bible as a parable. They are convinced that God deliberately hides the Gospel and that only the 3% who are the "elect" can discern biblical truth. The rest of us 97% will fry come May 21 2011, of course. Blecch.

Anyway, many of us have brought up the subject of Camping's Family Radio finances. As of last year, Family Radio was worth about $120 million US. "Why", we ask the Campingites, "does Camping solicit more money every day on his radio show if the rapture is going to be on May 22, 2011? Why does he need more money? Where does this money go to? What is it used for?"

The Campingites are actually PROUD of the fact that Camping doesn't use a dime of that fortune to actually help anyone, you know, like helping clothe and feed the poor and sick. That money, they tell me, is solely used to "spread the gospel". They are totally against helping anyone who is hungry or ill, because their attitude is "What good does feeding the hungry and providing medicine for the ill do when their souls are in peril? It's more important to preach Harold Camping's doctrine than feeding the hungry." Yeah, whatever... even though Jesus would want us to help each other with food and medicine... it makes me sick. Camping is nothing but a two-bit con man and cult leader, and his followers are creepy, robotic and scary. The worst of the Godsplainers.

In this same cold-blooded vein, the Ohio church will rebuild their giant plastic God-zilla at great expense, because obviously that is much more important than feeding the hungry or helping care for the sick.

The more time that goes by, the more glad I am that I ditched the religion. On the occasions where my apostasy has caused me some doubts, stories like this put those doubts to rest.

Tell a desperately poor parent whose child is very ill that a $700,000 plastic Jesus is more important than the well-being of her child. It makes me want to cry.

Eugene said...

Wow Gumby, I haven't heard of Harold Camping before but the man and his cult sounds seriously deranged! Maybe you should come out of retirement and blog about them. Just sayin'!

Do you think they will sing a different tune come May 22, 2011 or do you think they are too brainwashed to snap out of it?

On a lighter note, my favourite quote from the article was:
"“I can’t believe Jesus was struck,” said his brother, who noted the giant Hustler Hollywood sign for the adult store across the street was untouched. “It’s the last thing I expected to happen.” "

GumbyTheCat said...

I'm surprised you haven't heard of Harold Camping before. He is getting big in Africa.

He is a false prophet and false teacher. He got shown the door by his church in 1988 because of his totally unconventional views on biblical interpretation. 1988, he decided later, was when the Church Age ended, when God gave Satan the reins of the church. Ha ha, think that date is coincidental?

Since then he has made gazillions with Family Radio, promoting his allegorical interpretation of the Bible. "Allegorical interpretation" is the polar opposite of "literal interpretation". Camping pretends that God deliberately conceals his truths in the Bible and that only the very few elect can discern God's actual intent in the Bible. He claims everything, EVERYTHING in the Bible is parable, which means of course that he can make anything in the Bible say anything he wants it to just by saying so.

He has had failed rapture date predictions before, notably 1994. But his failures just make his fan base grow, seemingly. Now, May 21, 2011 is the Rapture, and 6 months later will be the destruction of the world. He derives the date using numerology and says 5/21/11 is exactly 7,000 years to the day after the Flood.

Camping's cult members are going bonkers on the internet these days, snidely shoving their doctrine down the throats of others. Interestingly, they badger fundies like fundies badger everyone else. They state in no unceertain terms that they are the 3% "elect" and that everyone else is totally wrong in their Christianity.

Camping's God is an angry, vengeful OT-style God, and his cult is the gloomiest and doomiest Christian sect I have yet encountered. His followers are brainwashed, joyless and seemingly soulless, and all they can do is robotically spout Camping's doctrine.

When 5/21/11 passes with no Rapture, I don't think they will be any less devoted to their cult master Camping. That's the way cults are, after all.

I've been thinking about posting my experiences with these nasty zombies, actually. In the meantime I suggest you google Camping. Be prepared for your skin to crawl!

Plucky said...

Looks like the lightening got him right in the gizzard . . .

To me this gets back to the concept I'm still pondering about why we as humans feel the need to "explain" everything . . . I suppose explaining puts us in the driver's seat and makes us feel i control and a little more secure about life, events, facing the unknown, etc.

In my humble opinion the word "because" is one of the most overused words in any language.

I think another part of the problem is the stretch of faith it takes to believe that God has "everything under control" in the midst of actual chaos and "free-will". As I ponder this I realize that this is yet another aspect of the divine nature of God that is far beyond my understanding. But it makes me feel secure that I serve a God that is so big I can't "understand" everything about him.

I know that intellectuals belittle "blind faith" but I also believe that science and religion don't have to be at polar opposites, but can actually be mutually supportive. However, at the end of the day or the end of our lives it is our "belief" and what we do with our "belief" in the face of the unexplainable or inexplicable that will mark and validate those who call themselves "Christ-followers."

I love the term Godsplainin'. Nice coin of a word!

I've learned that God can take care of Himself and he doesn't need me to defend him or explain for him or validate his existence. Believing he is on the throne doesn't actually place him on the throne. He is there whether I believe it or not.