Saturday, February 6, 2010

Who Would Jesus Shoot?


Ever since ABC News reported that, since 2005, military contractor Trijicon has been engraving coded Bible passages on sniper sights supplied to soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, there has been a lot of reaction from all over.  The Onion joked about it.  Others didn't find it funny and sent threats to those who tried to get rid of the Jesus guns.  Some journalists claimed it was no big deal while another even felt it was justified because the Muslims totally started it started it (SPOILER ALERT: They both work for Fox).  Other journalists pointed out that this was in fact a big deal because it gave Islamic extremists a potent propaganda and recruitment tool by turning the "War on Terror" into a "Christianity vs Islam" conflict.  The Anglican Church denounced it, as did the top US military commanders
Trijicon, responded by pointing out:  "We believe that America is great when its people are good," ...  "This goodness has been based on Biblical standards throughout our history, and we will strive to follow those morals."*  They also added that that those objecting to it are simply "not Christian".  Obviously!!

But enough of the boring opinions, lets get to the big picture that all those armchair generals seem to be missing.  The Military Religious Freedom Foundation reported a case where an officer told his troops that thanks to these scopes an ordinary rifle is "spiritually transformed into the Fire Arm of Jesus Christ" and when it runs out of ammo it becomes the "spiritually transformed club of Jesus Christ".   See?  All these reporters and politicians seem to be missing the fact that all Trijicon actually tried to do was to supply the troops with Divine Weapons of Conquest and Victory!  You know, like the ones Jesus gave to the Apostles.

However when I read the Bible verses that was engraved onto the scopes I spotted a teensy problem.  They all use verses like:

2 Corinthians 4:6 "For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ."

John 8:12  "When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.""

As well as other citations from the books of Revelation, Matthew and John dealing with Jesus as "the light of the world."  Really, what is up with all these verses about light?  Are they using frikken laser beams now?  No wonder the war is dragging on forever!  Of course the magic spell won't be effective if you try and enchant your weapon with something irrelevant!!  So as a free service, I'm offering some more appropriate verses for turning your ordinary machine gun into a Magic Jesus Gun.  Jesus did after all have plenty to say regarding the use of force and violence as well as matters of defence.  How about:

Matt 5:44 “But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” 
Matt 5:39 “But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also”
Matt 26:52 “Put your sword back in its place," Jesus said to him, "for all who draw the sword will die by the sword” 
Matt 7:12 “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you”
Matt 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God”

Yep, I think those are the kind of Scriptures Jesus would put on HIS machine gun!

*  However they quickly changed their tune when the Pentagon threatened to stop the money train.  It just goes to show that the Bible is true, you really can't serve Jesus AND Mammon!


GumbyTheCat said...

They should be using the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch:

...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... [At this point, the friar is urged by Brother Maynard to "skip a bit, brother"]... And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceedest on to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Amen.

LOL. Gotta love Monty Python.

RandomSue said...

I'm laughing! Is that bad? It doesn't matter, I am still laughing!