This video leaves me heartbroken and sad. Also very very angry.
It hurts my insides to listen to this lady's story. No one, and I do mean no one, should ever have to feel the way she felt. Not ever, not under any circumstances. But it does. All the fucking time! I don't have the words for how sad that makes me.
But mostly I am angry. I am angry that we live in a world where this happens all the time. I'm angry that society is apparently pretty OK with this being the case. I'm angry at myself for the time spent as part of that culture.
This is why Modesty culture and Purity culture pisses me the fuck off. I cannot just live and let live, those things are not harmless. How do I hate it? Let me count the ways! I hate the way it divides people into good and bad based purely on whether they've had sex or not. I hate the way it makes you ashamed of your body and your hormones and everything that is completely natural about sex. I hate the way it always finds ways to side against the abused and with the abuser. I hate the shame spirals and the psychological trauma of calling good, harmless and natural things sinful. I hate that it teaches men to hate and fear the female body. I hate that it turns women into things, not people. I hate how it degrades men and teaches them that deep down they are uncontrollable sex monsters. But more than anything I hate how it teaches us that we are supposed to be like his.
This is the one thing that (as a guy) makes me insanely angry about purity and modesty teachings in the church. It tells guys that they are animals. That they are slaves to their every urge, that they simply cannot help themselves. Men are not in control of their behavior, it all gets outsources externally. Girls have to cover up because guys just cannot help themselves when they are aroused.
That's fucking bullshit. There's no nice way to say it.
I spent most of my life as a fundamentalist and discovered Reason much later than I would have liked. I'm still dealing with the trauma and this blog is my therapy. So this is me: non-conformist, heretic, fan of delicious flavour and a man without a home. I’m a cynical optimist and a really angry zen master. I am just a man trying to make sense of it all. This is my life in juxtaposition.